


The Final Two Straws

by cheetoskittle



Series: The Bricksburg Police Department [2]
Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, i don’t know how to tag, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:37:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheetoskittle/pseuds/cheetoskittle
Summary: Unikitty comes to work three days after the meeting room incident only to find out that some people can hold grudges a mile wide... especially if you attack them before their birthday.Once again.. these things aren’t very unusual at the Department.





	The Final Two Straws

**Author's Note:**

> It’s here and I write it in ten minutes on pure spite bc my mind was like “ur never gonna finish huh” and I was like... 😂

“Can someone explain why Emmet is unconscious on the floor..?” Unikitty asked as soon as she waltzed into the Department one warm summer day. It had been three days since the meeting room incident, and all seemed well and good.  
Things didn’t ever seem well and good at the Department for long, though, which was why Unikitty was greeted to a rather distressing sights when she entered work that day.  
When she got no answer, she realized that nobody was at the scene of the crime. Literally. The Department’s whole first floor was barren, not a soul in sight.  
Unikitty traveled further into the building, being careful to avoid the area where Emmet was currently cosplaying a dead body. She saw more alarming things as she went farther.  
First of all: Benny was in the fetal position under his desk, chanting to himself that ‘everything’s gonna be okay’ over and over again. When he made eye contact with the small officer in pink, he quietly whispered, “Don’t go upstairs, WHATEVER YOU DO...”  
Unikitty laughed. “What?” she said cautiously, backing away from the desk. Benny crawled out after her (much to her dismay) and said again, “Just don’t... go upstairs...”  
He looked towards where Emmet lay, then shuddered and crawled back into his hiding spot.  
“Okay...” Unikitty whispered to herself, walking away from where she’d talked to the very spooked officer a moment before.  
That led to the second thing she saw that was very alarming: Metalbeard’s left arm, the prosthetic that he’d once bragged would never ever come off, was laying on the floor. She could tell it was the left one because of the very shiny neon pink stick-on tattoo that Unikitty herself had placed on there a month ago was there, in plain sight.  
But Metalbeard’s arm was still on the FLOOR, away from its owner.  
Next to the arm, Unikitty spotted a sticky note. It was bright blue, with some scribble writing covering the front.  
She picked it up and gave it a look, which led, once again, to another very, VERY alarming thing.  
The sticky note read: DON’T GO UPSTAIRS OR YOU’RE NEXT.  
Unikitty immediately dropped the sticky note, looking around. WHAT HAD HAPPENED?  
How could something happen, something so terrible, that the Department was like THIS?  
It was something bad.  
Something bad had hurt her friends.  
Her friends were hurt.  
That. Wasn’t. Very. Nice.  
Unikitty didn’t like things that weren’t nice.  
It made her... mad.

“How long do we have to hide in this DARN closet?!” Bad Cop growled, shifting his body for the fifth time that minute.  
“Jus long enough for Unikitty to come up. This is gonna scare her SO bad...” Lucy laughed, quietly, shifting herself away from the angered cop. “I just wish you hadn’t knocked Emmet down earlier...”  
Bad Cop shrugged, or shrugged as much as he could in the closet. “The kid was ASKING for it. He shouldn’t have jumpscared me like that!”  
Lucy frowned. “Oh, you’re horrible. It’s his birthday, and anyways, you AGREED to this whole thing, didn’t you? Should’ve been prepared for this!”  
“Yeah, I agreed to scare the living crap outta Unikitty! She nearly started attacking ME that day!” Bad Cop said, turning (as much as he could) to face the female detective. “What I DIDN'T sign up for was the kid nearly giving me a HEART ATTACK!”  
Lucy snickered. Emmet had gotten him good, even though he’d been knocked out in the process. The two hadn’t had enough time to drag him to the closet up the stairs, so he’d been left there. It was kinda fitting, since an unconscious body made the whole first floor seem a bit... more spooky.  
She laughed on the inside thinking about how Benny had probably given Unikitty a pretty good scare already. They’d elected the space fanatic to be the ‘shaken-up survivor’ because he’d shown an aptitude for changing his act really, really quickly. (He’d become a hard-edged officer when Emmet had brought an axe to work two months ago.) It turned out he was the best actor they had, so he’d be good at being the second hurdle Unikitty’d have to cross.  
Across the upstairs break room, they heard a thump.  
“Was that Metalbeard?” Lucy asked, Turing her head.  
“Yep. The guy can’t really fit into storage closets BY HIMSELF, let alone with my brother.” Bad Cop explained, imagining Good Cop frantically pulling the huge man back into the closet. Metalbeard really couldn’t get back in himself, since his left arm was downstairs.  
“SHHHHHHH!” Bad Cop heard his brother say, followed by a flurry of clanks and bumps, which actually meant he was pulling Metalbeard back into the closet.  
“Heh. So he really did have to-“  
CRASH!  
Lucy startled, and so did Bad Cop. From the other closet, Good Cop and Metalbeard yelped quietly.  
Unikitty, as it seemed, was upstairs.  
“Is she..?” Lucy started, but was stopped by the young officer’s screams.  
“WHO HURT MY FRIENDS?!” 

You see, it only really takes five seconds for things at the Department to go from absolutely bonkers to ABSOLUTELY BONKERS.  
Take what was happening now, for example: Emmet, as it turned out, held grudges. And he wanted to get back at Unikitty for what she did at the meeting three days ago, since she’d attacked him so viciously. And since it was his birthday, he held the most power at the Department.  
So the crew ended up devising a plan to freak the HECK out of Unikitty, then have the birthday party after the ‘prank’ was over.  
Unfortunately, in the gang’s rush to set up the prank, they’d forgotten about Unikitty’s... anger issues.  
Which led to this: Unikitty was attacking the first person to exit a closet. (It was Metalbeard.) the others, which included Lucy and Bad Cop, had rushed after him, trying to get the blinded-by-anger cop off of the poor man.  
Benny, who had come out of his actor-mode, sprinted after Unikitty as soon as he heard the commotion from upstairs. Well, sprinted as well as he could, seeing as he had decided to take Emmet, good old unconscious Emmet, with him.  
So HE burst into the room, and, seeing the battle, scooted around and leapt with Emmet into a closet.  
Into a closet and right onto Hood Cop, whonhad never left his hiding spot.  
So Good Cop was being smothered by an unconscious man and a frantically-apologizing man, all while Metalbeard was being assaluted by Unikitty, who was holding on to the guy by dead life, because Lucy and Good Cop had teamed up to get her off the man.  
Remember, all this happened in about five seconds.  
And the battle raged ON, for over ten minutes, too. Unikitty always took a long time to get out of her angry trance, and Metalbeard was very mad at her after, which continued the fight.  
Benny had joined at some point, leaving Good Cop to make sure Emmet didn’t get his head cut off or something.  
Lucy had come into the closet with Good Cop and her boyfriend as well, shielding the man from the flurry of fists that bombarded the somehow still open closet.  
It went ON and ON until finally, Emmet woke up.  
“WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!” Emmet screeched, accidentally directing all the attention to him.  
“This is HIS fault! Get him!” Metalbeard said, backing away from the scene.  
Unikitty snarled. “This was YOUR IDEA?” she asked, glaring at him with the heat of five thousand suns.  
“...yes?” Emmet said, tryin g to back away, but finding himself trapped in the closet. “To be fair, you did attack me in that meeting...”  
“FOR A CAUSE, EMMET! IT WAS FOR A CAUSE!” was the last thing Unikitty said before freaking LAUNCHING herself into the closet.  
Emmet SCREAMED, “TODAY WAS SUPOOSED TO BE MY BIRTHDAYYYY!” 

And it was.  
Like, they had the party. Unikitty paid for the food AND Emmet’s magical bills.  
And all was well and good.  
For the next few days.  
Then, something else came up.  
Y’know, just another day at the Department.


End file.
